What are you saying you will “try to do?” …. stop trying and just get on with it

English Proverb

What will you do today that helps you plant a tree to flourish?

Now I don’t think this is necessarily a coincidence, but it does seem uncanny that when I speak to any manager about coaching their staff they agree that “in the ideal world” this would be part of their lives…if they had the time. Can it really be the case that in almost every organisation I’ve worked with over the last 10 years operational pressures are such that they prevent managers from coaching their staff?

I guess the key is in the word “almost” because there have been some organisations (only a few) that I have worked with where coaching was built into the managers’ routine, just like providing management stats and dealing with escalations etc. So what is different about these companies?

Maybe, it is precisely the fact that it is such a part of their routine, that they don’t view it as an addition to their process. And by making it part of their routine from the beginning then it becomes the norm. I think it is so easy to become absorbed with doing something right as opposed to doing the right thing. Maybe management teams would find big benefits in reviewing their tasks and asking themselves, “are we placing too much emphasis on doing something right? Or are we really focusing on doing the right thing?” And hopefully staff coaching will be featured amongst doing the right thing, as well as of course, doing something right!

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.”

It strikes me that in our personal and professional lives we do ‘play many parts’ depending on the particular situation in which we find ourselves. For instance, in customer service we may play the part of

• A ‘friend’ when helping a customer find the best solution or
• A ‘rescuer’ when sorting out a problem , to name just two of the essential roles.

People respond to us based on the part we are playing. Know what part your are playing and if you are getting the desired result then great, but if not you can choose to change your part to one that will work better.

Spend a couple of minutes thinking about the roles you need to play today and how making adjustments may help you to progress your cause

Isn’t it interesting how we can view exactly the same situation and have extremely contrasting interpretations depending on your perspective?

When we are within a system, that system shapes our perspective. As a leader in an organisation you are part of the ‘leadership system’ and as a front-line  Agent, for example, you are part of the ‘staff system’. As such, you are likely to have differences of opinions based on your inclusion in one system or the other. And whilst we might like to think that we know what people in another system are thinking, we simply can’t.

The impact of this is profound. Over time, for staff,  it breeds cynicism and distrust; a desire to tow the line rather than excel and for leaders it propagates the belief that staff do as little as possible to get by (but they wouldn’t dare openly admit it, instead they just act as if it were true), a focus on task rather than spending the time with their teams, reporting through email and numbers rather than face to face and with feeling.  Connection is lost.

Our ability to connect in today’s fast moving world is essential. We connect to things, technology, people. We share information at an unprecedented rate and without this connection we will be ‘at sea’. Organisations change products and processes almost daily without a manager being truly connected to their staff how can staff possibly interpret and apply these changes at speed?

But all is not lost, time is a great healer. No-one really knows whether the coalition will last and if it can achieve what it suggests. But time will tell. No-one really knows if you will be the great leader you want to be, only time will tell and the decisions you make. So a question, “What information do you need to uncover in order to help you on this path?”

Last week people voted. Everyone was talking about who they could trust, which party really did have the best interests of the country at heart. The newspapers were full of it. The rhetoric from all parties was about trusting in them to deliver for us, the party manifestos and newsletters were all designed to encourage us to believe in them and their abilities, to trust in them to lead our country. I was lucky enough to be at an electric election night count. The reporters were buzzing and all of them had voted for the same man who was duly elected against the odds. These reporters were non partisan. We got chatting and I asked why they had voted for him. The said ‘we trust him.’  I asked, ‘how do you know?’ To which they all replied (individually) ‘because he listens more than he talks and he genuinely shows that he cares.’ Interesting that in short snippets of conversations, over a relatively short period of time, that was the criteria for some people. Clearly it is not as simple as just that. These behaviours attracted people to vote, but what do you think the impact will be if these behaviours aren’t demonstrated beyond the election? Isn’t this one of the reasons that so many people are disaffected? The same is true, not only in politics, but also in organisations the length and breadth of the country. Many of which have strong leaders, with vision and drive who share a powerful story of a better a future but when this is distilled into departmental actions, something is missing.

When we examine the losses many of us have experienced during this global economic recession one of the significant losses is surely the loss of trust. Many leaders in organisations fell short of the required leadership at this difficult time but all is not lost. Those leaders that are prepared to rebuild and acknowledge will make significant improvements in the performance of their teams.

So this week review how deep the trust is that your team have in you. Be that leader who reaches out, ask questions and listen more to what is being said around you. When you do, do it without judgement, excuses or criticism, allow people to talk.  Think about how you can use these elements to deepen your relationships, not just at work but also at home too.  As Stephen Covey says “nothing is as fast as the speed of trust”. If you want to grow and do it fast, trust is a great foundation.

As adults we are no different. If someone tells us to how do something we might not have the confidence to try it. But if we can experience it safely, without reprimands then we are more likely to build the skill and confidence to do it again when it matters. Training still often tells people what to do by an ‘expert’ at the front of the room but with the constant challenges of the speed of change in our world now, we cannot rely on this ‘expert’ and their own knowledge. We have to learn for ourselves how to do and how to adapt. This process of learning builds our intuition, our problem solving and the depth of our analysis. Without it, organisations rely on too few many people to shape their world. With it, every single member of staff can play a vital role in the development and success of the organisation.

So come on you managers, leaders and L&D professionals, release control and encourage every individual to learn for themselves. Help to create the right conditions to ensure your people thrive. Take a look at our L&D report on how our world is changing ‘Time for a change’

I’d decided that making cookies would be a great way to pass the time on an afternoon off school and only 5 minutes into the process I was having second thoughts. With a whole bag of sugar on the floor and butter stuck to the window their level of shrieking seemed to be rising in exact proportions to my frustration. I was just about to utter the words ‘If you can’t do this sensibly then we won’t do it at all!’  but I stopped myself just in time. All that would have meant was that the mayhem would transfer to another room.

Instead, and I’m not quite sure where this came from, I took a deep breath and asked ‘Who’d like to chop up chocolate with really sharp knives?’  Three shouts of ‘Me, me, me!’ followed so I found three chopping boards, three knives and let them get on with it. Now I did still watch from a distance and gave very clear instructions about knives and fingers before they started, but the mood in the room changed instantly. High jinx was replaced with calm concentration which held up long enough to finish the cookies and put them in the very hot oven.

And the point about behaviour? If we want to influence others to behave how we would like them to then it’s own own actions we have to consider first. When we put our trust in others and give them meaningful and challenging work we may just get the performance we are after. So, whether at work or at home see what  relinquishing control and handing over the reins can do for the performance of your people.

Oh, and the cookies tasted pretty good too

Gill

Success is about doing the right thing at the right time and for many people this is about trial and error. This process of testing is about learning what works and what doesn’t. In Gladwell’s book he explores intuition as not some magical and mysterious property that arises unbidden from the depths of our mind. Rather it is a product of long hours and intelligent design, of meaningful work environments and particular rules and principles. The book shows us how we can hone our instinctive ability to know in an instant, helping us to bring out the best in our thinking and become better decision-makers in our homes, offices and in everyday life. And this in turn leads to having the breakthrough that helps us be an overnight sensation! So the key to your success is being prepared to take action, reflect, learn and apply. Being an avid learner from everyday experiences will help you achieve the success you seek.

• How often do you think about your interactions and the impact they leave on others?

• How often have you left unfinished discussions whether personal or in business because it’s easier to think it might disappear rather than to deal with it.

So, whoever you are, whatever you do, remember to think about the lasting impression you want others to have of you. It takes very little time to listen and think about your response before you need to give it but it can take a long time to undo the impact of a rushed response.

At home, this can be the difference between a calm and pleasant evening and one fuelled with anger. At work, when we get it right, the impact can transform the energy and commitment of an entire workforce who will go out of their way to be the best they can be.

Think about the exchanges you have had today – did they all leave the bets impression of oyu that they could? If not, what can you do between now and the end of the day to put them right?